Confession: I hold the title author in great esteem. Before I was traditionally published, I always referred to myself as a writer. (And happily so!) I’m still a writer, but the title of author, felt like something I had to earn. I dreamed of seeing my name on the spine of a book. I dreamed of making readers feel the same way I used to feel when I read a book and became so engrossed in the lives of the characters. I used to go to the YA section in the bookstore and imagine where my book would be placed on the shelves. I honestly don’t know how I maintained an optimistic attitude rejection after rejection, but I was always determined to see this dream of becoming an author come true.
Photo: Unseen Studio @craftedbygc
So, everything was rainbows and puppies when I finally got the call that someone wanted to publish my book, right?
Well, yes, and no.
There was so much excitement, and disbelief, and wonder. I celebrated - then the very real work of being an author began. Look, it’s not the most difficult profession and it’s not hard physical labor or anything, but there are definitely some things I wish I’d known before I entered into the world of publishing.
It’s Okay Not to Be Cool
We all know those authors whose coolness seems effortless. Their tweets are witty. They can post a picture of an empty coffee cup on Instagram and get hundreds (possibly even thousands) of likes. They are invited to book festivals. Their book signings are well attended. Their readers make fan art. They usually have another best friend or friends who are also cool authors, and they take zany pics of their shenanigans. They make shenanigans sound aspirational. All of which makes the rest of us feel as though there’s a secret handshake to get into the inner circle.
Except, it’s pretty much smoke and mirrors.
I mean, there are cool authors, and some of them are even friends with each other but it’s really okay if you’re not one. What do I mean? You don’t have to know everything there is to know about publishing, especially when you’re a first-time author. It’s also okay to actually be excited about the whole process of your book release. You can even, gasp, ask questions – it’s totally encouraged.
Here’s my personal example:
It was the first time I visited my publisher and met my editor. First off, not everyone gets to do this. My home state is NJ, and my hometown is literally twenty minutes away from Manhattan, so it wasn’t difficult for me to combine a trip home and have lunch with my agent and editor.* The expenses were pretty minimal.
When my agent and I walked into the HarperCollins building, I inwardly screamed. Honestly, I think I had a bit of an out of body experience as we were welcomed, signed in, and escorted upstairs by an assistant editor (who told me she loved my book) to my editor’s office. As we strolled passed glass display cases of some of Harper’s bestselling books with pictures of their authors, my thoughts went to Melanie Griffith’s character in the movie Working Girl – at the end, when she takes her seat at the assistant’s desk, instead of going into her own hard-earned office. Total disbelief with a dash of imposter syndrome. My jaw may have dropped slightly.
Not only did I meet my editor at that visit, but I also met the Balzer & Bray team. I sat at the end of a very long table with my editor, and tried to take it all in. At one point, after I thanked those who worked on my behalf, I lost it. Maybe not a full out ugly cry, more like pageant winner waving her hands in front of her face cry. It was so much to take in, and that “I’m so cool with all of this” façade came crashing down.
After the meeting – when I was having a bit of a vulnerability hangover and my inner bully was ready to take some jabs at me for losing my cool – my editor (who is one of the most awesome people you’d ever want to meet) said something along the lines of this to me – “We should be more aware of what a big deal this is for a first time author. To us it’s just another day in the office, for you it must be overwhelming.”
I think about this a lot, whenever I feel the need to act like a “cool author”. Of course, it was an overwhelming moment! The dream I’d worked so hard for had finally come to fruition.
If there’s ever a moment not to be cool – it’s that one. My biggest regret of that meeting was that I didn’t stop to take a picture outside with the HarperCollins sign because how uncool is that, right? (that’s sarcasm, btw)
Thankfully I had another chance a few years later – and a new building to boot – so I got to take pictures then.
Don’t ever be too cool to take pics.
Be Careful What You Post Online
This one is pretty obvious, but I also apply it to more subtle instances now. I have always been careful, but the truth is – you never know how someone is going to interpret your words. I remember gushing over my first book cover during a live Twitter chat – it had been on several blogger “most anticipated reads” lists and everyone deemed it adorable - but I think at one point I may have sounded arrogant about it. At least in hindsight. Maybe people didn’t take it that way, but how can you tell? Twitter used to feel like more of a water cooler, but over the years has changed dramatically. These days I rarely, if ever, go on – it feels too volatile.
This also applies to “private” FB groups and chat boards as well. Don’t let the word private lull you into believing you have entered a “safe space”. While my personal policy “never say anything online that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face” has helped me, I still have run into snafus. Not everyone has the same sense of humor or is viewing things through the same lens. And we creatives can be a dramatic bunch. (I say that with love.)
Once, in a private online writing group, it was learned that someone had taken screenshots of various posts and shared them. To me, that violated a professional trust. Everyone needs a place to vent, to ask questions, to maybe not be their best – but it is not on the internet. Save that for the people who really have your back – and do it in person.
Not Everyone Wants to be Friends (and you shouldn’t take it personally)
This is a difficult one.
There will be those people you really vibe with, but there will also be people who won’t even look your way. There are some people you may only have a professional relationship with – and that’s fine! You might only be friends for a short period of time – that’s cool too!
Publishing is a business.
Not everyone wants to be your friend. Not everyone has the bandwidth to cultivate a relationship. Not everyone will reply to a Tweet, like a post, reply to an email, or give your book a glowing review. Some people can even be outwardly hostile or dismissive for whatever reason. And maybe you happened to cross paths when they were having a bad day, so let’s give each other some grace. It’s all good. Or maybe not good – it’s just, well, life, isn’t it?
Not everyone is looking for friends.
I once met a fellow author at a book festival who I’d only known online. I was excited to meet her in person, thought she was pretty awesome, and we chatted a bit, but shortly after we met – she unfollowed me on Twitter. That was hard not to take personally.
I mean we met, then she unfollowed me.
That’s pretty much cause and effect, right?
*sniffs armpits*
When I thought about it more though, I wasn’t on Twitter that often, so I didn’t exactly provide quality content. Our writing styles were vastly different too, as were our interests and tastes. Even if we’d lived in the same city, I doubt we would have been friends. She had a really dynamic and far reaching account – I think mine had some cyber dust and cobwebs on it. Her feed was curated, and I didn’t offer her anything. So, when I added all of that up, it made sense that she unfollowed me, and I stopped questioning it.
*sniffs armpits* again
There are plenty of times I’ve felt misunderstood, snubbed even, but when I find myself starting to go down an insecurity spiral, I remember all of the amazing people that I do vibe with, the people I feel safe with, the people who can handle my shit.
And that makes all the difference.
*You might live clear across the country from your editor and never meet in person – that’s okay! You’ll probably work together so much that you’ll feel as though you’ve met them in person! But if you can – do it! And take pictures!!